Signs of abuse – Love or abuse?
Love is kind, Love is pure, Love is simple. Love means putting others before yourself, making sure that the person you love is taken care of emotionally. It means surrendering to your past and moving toward for your partner. It is a glowing, healing light that surrounds your body. It is positive, it is clear and it is healthy. It is growth, it is empowering your partner to reach their goals and to go after their dreams. Now often love can also turn into abuse without us realizing it. However the signs of abuse can be recognized on time.
Let’s get to know the signs of abuse:
- Justifying everything with “I love you so much, I will change for you. Most of the time this is just a tactic to get you to stay with the abuser and without help they will continue their abusive patterns.
- Saying “if you love me you’ll do it” this is forcing you to do something in a manipulative way.
- “Finding excuses to make a fresh start”. Let’s just start over it won’t happen again without fixing the real issues and being emotionally unresponsive.
- “I want to take care of you” this is another way of saying I like to have you under my thumb or control. As an adult you should be able to care for yourself and don’t let anyone take your independence away.
- “Threats of self harm” In a abusive relationships people use tactics to make you feel sorry for them, they often want you to give in. This is the guilt tactic.
- Explaining irrational behavior with “I want what’s the best for us”. Clear indicator that actions speak louder then words and this is to end conflict and continue on the path of abuse.
- “I will talk to you some other time”. Neglect towards your partner with silent treatments, ignoring and making the other partner feel like you don’t care to even have them in your life, leaving things without closure.
- Saying “It is other people I don’t trust not you” is a clear indicator there is a big insecurity in the relationship. Insecurities can make the relationship have no trust and if there is no trust there is no relationship.
- Saying “I don’t think that looks good on you, or You don’t look like you used to”. Is used as a tactic to degrade your self-esteem. The abuser will use this to tear you down. Remember you are beautiful or handsome and it is the abuser trying to take your shine away from you.
- “You will never find someone else like me”. “No one will ever love you the way I do”. These are clear indicators the abuser sees that you are unhappy and try to convince you this is the way a relationship is supposed to be.
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