If you’ve ever felt the physical and emotional pain of a breakup, you are not alone. Breakups can turn your entire world upside down and prompt a series of traumatic and unsettling emotions. The period of adjustment after a split often brings up feelings of immense loss, hurt, and uncertainty about what lies ahead. Even for people who felt that their relationship was toxic or no longer successful struggle with the aftermath of a split. A common misconception about romantic separations is that you only mourn the happy memories you shared together when there is much more to be mourned. Many times, the grieving process for missed future events and milestones is even more painful. However, what has happened has happened and now you must rewrite some new beautiful plans without that person. Deal with a broken heart and navigating this trying time may seem like an impossible task, but we’ve created a few steps to guide you on your healing journey.
- Deal with a broken heart – Give yourself the permission to heal. After breakups, people often feel pressured to give off the impression that they are fine and better off without that person. Everyone needs a break, though. Allow your body to feel these emotions and to function at a less than optimal level for a period. You may not be as productive at work, but that is totally okay!!! No one is perfect – take time to heal, regroup, and re-energize.
- Share your feelings. Don’t bury all this heartbreak in an effort to appear strong. Real strength lies in vulnerability and it is important to share your pain with people, with a journal, and through your creative process. Many artists, writers, and musicians have said that breakups tend to be some of their most productive times for their creative output. Being so in a state where you are so in touch with your emotions is rare. Express yourself and grow from it.
- Do the things that you could never do together. Perhaps your partner hated going to museums or eating Italian food. Take yourself out for a date and do both of those things. Savor every moment and recognize how much joy these things brought to your life. They are now back to stay.
- Start saying “Yes” to things. This may sound counterproductive, but it’s important to continue living your life once you passed the initial grief period. Relationships, while fulfilling and meaningful, often leave someone in a constant state of compromise. You have the unique opportunity to start afresh and use this clean slate to map out the life you want. Begin saying yes to the things that you could never do before. This is the time to make your dream life come true!
- Deal with a broken heart – Remember that this is temporary. While the ache in your soul may feel heavy and everlasting, it is not. Be sure to write down your feelings during this uncertain time and practice reading where you were a week ago. This will allow your mind to process the growth you are making in this self-discovery and recovery journey (Even if it is only very small at first).
This recovery period will take time, but you are likely over the hardest part already. Continue to keep reminding yourself that you will get through this challenging experience. Renewed hope and optimism will be meeting you on the other side.
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